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Your Dream! Your Responsibility!

By Tendai Nyangari
Your Dream! Your Responsibility! picture


“A man can fail many times; but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else."  ~~  John Burroughs

Here’s the deal… Anybody can have an idea. Ideas are exceedingly common. I have more ideas floating around in my head now than I will ever accomplish and that would take years of work and sacrifice to carry out. I have ideas about websites and apps, videos and books; the list goes on and on. It is no one else’s responsibility to make the things in my heart happens–it’s mine, and I have to decide what is and is not worth the investment. Anybody can have an idea. So what? Those who can propel ideas into reality are valuable. Sitting around waiting on someone to give you an opportunity or to fully support your idea is not how you chase your dream

I spent a year shilly-shallying around from idea to idea, starting this then that, before getting clarity.  I had no direct encouragement from my loved ones (they were now tired of my inaction), but I wasn’t discouraged either.  My husband said, “If you can make this work, go for it.”  But he felt it was a soft service and not worth hanging your hat on. The truth is, it’s not his dream.  It’s mine.  He couldn’t connect with my dream because it wasn’t his to connect with. It’s my journey, and he will unquestionably walk the journey with me, but he can’t walk it for me. On this journey, its mandatory that action comes from me.That realization was very key for me.

I started to see a trend in my life where at times I’d be totally motivated and gung-ho, and then peter out into discouragement.  I’d go to a high-end event and come home totally motivated and excited, a lot of adrenaline, a flurry of great action and follow-up, and then slowly wind down and peter out...yes, into sluggishness and discouragement.  I assume the instant gratification world we live in and the get rich schemes that abound all around us are partly responsible for contributing to the way I felt, mixed feelings caused by unrealistic expectations, our lazy natures and entitlement spirits. Most people expect the things they desire to be handed to them without much effort on their part or have convinced themselves to believe the lie that promotes over-night success.

Nothing worth having ever comes easily; we have to be willing to put in the due diligence and bear the responsibility of making things happen ourselves. We are the creators of our life and determine our own destiny, self-actualization and self-fulfilment by the actions we take, choices we make and habits we embrace. We have to stop waiting for our beloved family and friends to make things happen for us or to point out and recognize our greatness so that we can feel more comfortable pursuing our dreams. We have to be willing to sail unchartered waters and walk the less travelled road at times as well as bet on ourselves if we are ever bring our dreams to pass no matter how fearful, unqualified or unprepared we might feel.

By taking 100% responsibility – you are committing to a new and healthier mind-set. It is all too easy to make excuses and not take responsibility for our outcomes. But our power comes from how we choose to react. By taking responsibility and acknowledging that we are the masters of our own destiny; that we are the ones who can implement the changes that we need, then we empower ourselves to take control. By electing to take responsibility, we are no longer:

Blaming Others

One of the hallmarks of someone who has not taken full responsibility of their life is the propensity to blame others for everything wrong in their life. Such a person believes that the fact that there are not where they would like to be in life is not their fault, but the fault of something or someone else, such as the economy, their parents, their spouses, their bosses, and so on. Blame diverts attention away from us. It provides a plausible reason for failure. However, blaming yourself is not a healthy option either. By taking responsibility – which is very different – you are actually placing yourself accountable for your actions; and as a result you are ensuring a more positive outcome. You are focussing on a desired outcome rather than an explanation for failure.

The problem with continually attempting to find someone or something to blame is that it robs you of the power to take action. If you believe that you are poor because of how the economy is set up, then there is no motivation to work harder because you believe that whatever you do, you cannot change the economy and cannot therefore change your situation.Whatever kind of life you want to live, not one will give it to you or take it away from you.

Making Excuses

How many times have you wanted to do something but then came up with an excuse as to why you couldn’t do it? Either you didn’t have enough time, you had no idea how to do it, you didn’t have enough money, you didn’t think it was the right time, the list is endless. The problem with excuses is that they keep you from taking action. There is a popular saying that if you really want something, you will find a way, and if you don’t, you will find an excuse. In other words, having an excuse is like an admission to yourself that you are not willing to do what it takes to achieve something, or you don’t want it enough.


Just like finding someone to blame, complaining about your situation or circumstances puts you in the position of a victim who has no control over their life. The reality is that the world is not an ideal place, and therefore, things will not always go your way. If things don’t go as expected, or if something happens to put you in a position of disadvantage, instead of complaining about the situation, focus on what you can learn from the situation and think of what you can do to get in order to get yourself from the situation. “Complaining is a complete waste of one’s energy. Those who complain the most accomplish the least.”

This is your dream. People are not going to be excited about your dream...they are responsible for theirs, and yes, it would be nice if they took their negativity somewhere else, but the truth is, people like being negative.  This is actually normal. Shouldn't be this way, but it is.If you want to create the life of your dreams, then you are going to have to take 100% responsibility for your life as well. That means giving up all your excuses, all your victim stories, all the reason why you can’t and why you haven’t up until now, and all your blaming of outside circumstances. You have to give them all up forever and always remember your dream, you responsibility.



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